Do you struggle with putting everyone else’s needs before your own? Are you feeling drained because people are overstepping your boundaries? Do you feel like you are a people pleaser? If you answered yes to one of these, this post is for you. Today, we are going to talk about the villain era. I’ll explain what it is, why you should step into your villain era and 5 simple ways to get started.
What is the Villain Era?
Upon first glance at this post, you might think that the villain era means a period of your life where you are an actual villain. Where you’re unkind to the people around you. I want to be very clear when I say that is not what the villain era is about.
The Villain Era is a trend that has been floating around on the internet for the past year or so. It basically means a period of your life where you are living unapologetically. You are putting yourself first, even if other people don’t like it.
Why should you be the villain?
Women are lovers, nurturers, caregivers and everything in between. This means that sometimes we end up using all of our energy on everyone else and we aren’t even on the priority list. Over time this leads to declining happiness and sometimes resentment.
People pleaser. You may have friends, family or employers that you are constantly trying to please.
You want everyone to be happy with you and you are afraid of conflict so you go along to get along.
Poor priorities. It’s been a long time since you were the main priority in your life. You have lost sight of the fact that when you are truly healthy and happy, you become the best version of yourself and the quality of your life will improve.
Dark Feminine Energy. Becoming the Villain is one of the ways you can start channeling your dark feminine energy. I have a post about The Dark Feminine in case you want to learn more.
I want you to think for a moment…
Do you have any boundaries? Have you actually set real boundaries with your friends, family or co-workers? Are you maintaining your boundaries?
Setting boundaries can be very difficult because in doing so you are teaching people how to treat you. And when you do this, people won’t like it.
Re evaluate your priorities
It’s time to take a hard look at your priorities. Do they support your dream life? Do your priorities promote a healthy, happy life for you?
What priorities can you change in order to stop being a people pleaser and live a lifestyle that is more authentic to you?
Remove toxic relationships from your life…for good.
This is a difficult move to make especially if your long time relationships are toxic. Removing people from your life will make you look like the villain.
People will start to think that you believe you are better than them, they might even confront you and say nasty things. But that is further proof that you don’t need them in your life anymore.
I once did a podcast about things I didn’t know would happen when I started my elegance journey.
Severing relationships is one of them.
It’s difficult, but ever so important.
This post talks about 5 types of toxic people elegant ladies don’t associate with.
Communicating needs to enter your villain era
One of the most important things to do when stepping into your villain era is to better communicate your needs. Make sure that your voice is heard in your relationships as well as at work.
It might be scary to be up front about your needs an expectations, but if you are consistent, over time it will become second nature to you!
Start saying no
Why is saying no so difficult? Why is it that we feel like we need to give an explanation when we are saying no to someone?
News flash. It’s okay to say no. And you don’t owe anyone an explanation.
Challenge: I encourage you to say no to something without giving an explanation.
Here are 3 elegant ways to say no:
- Thanks for inviting me, but I can’t.
- I’m afraid I’m unavailable.
- I wish I were able to, but I can’t.
Villain Era conclusion:
Being the villain and entering your villain era is simply putting yourself and your needs first so that you can be the best person that you can be.
It will be difficult at first to step into this Dark Feminine energy at first, and people will push your boundaries.
The most important thing is to be consistent and don’t back down when people give you a hard time. At the end of the day, you are responsible for your own happiness.