Hi beautiful! My name is Victoria and I am honored that you are spending some time out of your day to visit the blog. If it’s your first time here, I help women become their best selves and live their best life. I encourage you to get to know me a little better before your leave, and don’t forget to follow me on twitter, I love connecting with you.
So lets talk about toxic people. It’s kind of an important subject that is sometimes overlooked in life. Sometimes toxic people can be your family, your friends, or even your spouse. For that reason, we sometimes tend to tolerate toxic people because we love them and have a connection with them.
But in order to create a life of happiness, health, and abundance, you must surround yourself with people that are going to lift you up, not bring you down. Sometimes that means you will have to avoid certain types of people, no matter your relationship with them.
Don’t get it twisted, you don’t have to delete these people completely from your life, especially if they are your family. But you will have to set some boundaries for yourself and perhaps talk to them less and spend less time with them.
The Drama Queen
We all know what the drama queens are. Drama Queens are people who are always knee deep in some sort of drama. Family drama, drama with their spouse, drama at work, or with their friends. Every time you talk to the Drama Queen, there is always some wild story filled with problems that could have been avoided if better decisions were made in the first place.
They feed off drama. Not just theirs, but celebrity drama and other peoples drama. They might engage in the occasional late night Facebook brawl over vaccinations in a mom group, or they might make a post calling someone out on Facebook airing dirty laundry and making themselves look like a complete fool.
I used to be into drama too. Not drama with people I know, but I used to love watching youtube drama channels that covered what was happening in the beauty community and I was obsessed with Wendy William’s hot topics. When I started my personal development journey I realized that drama is extremely toxic and does absolutely nothing for me. Once I cut it out of my life, I felt the difference in my overall mood.
Ugh. The victim. The victim is always looking for someone to complain to. They are constantly seeking attention and remorse. They rarely have anything positive going on because instead of putting positive energy into the world, they are basking in their misery. The victim never takes responsibility for their actions and is always looking for something or someone to blame for their misfortunes. They often use past struggles or trauma as an excuse to continue to do poorly in life. Instead of being proactive and going to therapy to help them get past their issues, they make excuses to not go and continue to be miserable.
Victims are toxic to you because they drain you of your positive energy. If you have someone in your life who likes to play the victim, keep your contact with them to a minimum. Make suggestions that they go to therapy and if they don’t then it’s time to keep your distance. If a person wants to change their life and become a better person, they will. But if a person wants to make excuses and get attention from people, there is nothing you can do about it. As mean as it sounds, it’s not your problem. You have to remove them from your inner circle and move on girl friend.
Most people associate abuse with physical abuse. You should DEFINITELY stay away from physical abusers, but I want to focus on the abuse that goes unnoticed. The low key abusers. The verbal and mental abuser. Verbal abuse is when someone calls you names, puts you down and degrades you.
Mental abuse is when they do more low key things to make you feel bad about yourself. Mental abusers often have suffered through trauma but have not dealt with it properly, so they thrive off of hurting others.
This one is interesting. My friend has a longtime friend that is a total snake. The snake is toxic in so many ways its out of control. Whenever my friend had an issue in life, the snake would find out through mutual friends, and then she would be front and center in my friends DMs. She wanted to know all the details, the specifics, everything. She was pretending to care, offering fake support, opinions, and such. But she only wanted to hear about my friends struggles because it made her feel better about herself. Snakes thrive off the hardships of others. They are always around but they strike when someone is vulnerable.
You can identify a snake because they only come around when you are at a low point in life. When you are going through some juicy drama. Snakes are never around for you when you are having success, they don’t like that. They take joy in your hardships.
The User only comes around when they need something from you. You may have known or been friends with this person for a long time, but you have started picking up on their pattern of only surfacing in your life when they need to borrow money, or take advantage of a resource that you have. They never reciprocate, and they are never available to help anyone else. Everything is always about them and their needs. Family or not, you should start putting distance between yourself and the users in your life.