Do you struggle with being elegant on a daily basis? How many times per day do you ask yourself questions? How many times do you check in with yourself when things are tough? In this post I’m going to share with you two major questions that you should be asking yourself every single day to become more elegant
Every time I reach the end of a year, I am completely shocked at how quickly time flies. December is a month where I reflect on my growth and figure out what I need to work on in the year ahead.
2022 took a lot of mental energy for me.
I decided that I wanted to stop consuming toxic/negative content online (and elsewhere) When I was previously addicted to gossip and drama channels on YouTube.
I think it’s normal to want to know about the latest gossip because it gives you a break from the issues you are facing in your own life.
However, just because something is normal doesn’t mean it is okay or healthy for us.
Additionally, I realized that I couldn’t possibly experience an abundance of personal growth in my own life when I spent my free time worrying about everyone else’s lives.
It should also be mentioned that gossip is toxic and not elegant in the least.
I knew I needed to remove it from my life.
At the beginning of this year I completely stopped consuming all gossip channels.
I don’t even know how to explain it, but quitting the gossip channels was really easy for me. I think that mentally I was just tired of consuming negative content all the time.
Gossip channels don’t align with elegant living, and I knew I needed to let them go in order to continue to evolve as a person.
I was only tempted once, and it was during the first week in the year.
I clicked on a gossip video, watched it for 20 seconds and then turned it off. I haven’t watched one since.
I replaced the gossip videos with elegant music and audio books (both are way better) and they also made me feel a lot happier.
It occurred to me that I needed to start paying more attention to the things that I do every day and how they affect me.
And that is where these two major questions came into my life
Q1: How does this make me feel?
Q2: Does this align with the person I want to be.
I didn’t know it at first? But these questions would become standard practice for everything I did for the rest of the year.
Do you want to know what happened?
- I removed even more things from my life that weren’t serving me.
- Slowly but surely, bad habits started being removed from my routines.
- My mood improved and my happiness improved as well.
- My daily life became more elegant.
I never knew that asking questions like this would lead to so much growth in my elegance journey.
I’m going to break down how I ask each of the questions so you can do the same.
Use these questions in your day to day life to determine what isn’t serving you and what you are doing that isn’t in alignment with the woman you want to be.
This is a touchy subject and it’s extremely controversial. This is because sometimes it is hard to admit or even realize that a family member may not be healthy for you.
That is why it helps to ask yourself Q1 when you are around them.
How does this family member make me feel?
Sometimes family can be toxic. I strongly believe that this should be discussed more. Just because you are related to someone doesn’t mean you should spend a lot of time with them.
If you determine that you don’t feel good after repeated visits with that family member, they should be moved lower on your priority list.
It’s no secret that our friends have a major influence on who we are. Sometimes though, friends might not be living life in alignment with the things that you want in your life.
They have their own struggles and demons to deal with, but they don’t have to be your struggles as well.
Everyone at some point has been caught at the crossroads of keeping a friend or distancing from them, it’s hard to do.
When you decide to level up your life and become more elegant, sometimes your friends might not be on board. They might make comments about the person you are becoming.
Your friends also might simply be toxic for you and hindering your progress.
The only way to determine if your friends are in the clear is to ask Q1 AND Q2 after you spend time with them.
Q1: How do I feel after spending time with friends?
Q2: Do my friends align with the person I want to be?
If your friends aren’t good for you, you might have to start setting boundaries with them. You also may have to limit the time you spend with them. It’s going to be better for you in the long run.
The content you consume
Aside from work (you can’t control who you work with) Most people spend the most time consuming content.
- Social Media
The problem with content is that there are no real boundaries and filters on content. On social media, almost anything goes.
Something that I have noticed about TV shows over the years is that they can be very graphic and dark. When I was a kid, we had regular cable TV. If you wanted to watched more graphic content you had to either watch movies or pay for HBO.
Now it seems like nearly every TV show has toxic content. Graphic scenes, nudity, sexual content and everything in between. With access to so many streaming platforms, we are constantly bombarded with low vibrational content.
You can get an idea of the type of content you will see via the rating of the show, but some shows I have watched have made me so uncomfortable that I had to turn them off.
Over time, constant exposure to this type of content is desensitizing.
Toxic content does nothing for our mind and doesn’t help us to become better people.
I challenge you to ask Q1 & Q2 when deciding what types of content you consume.
If you don’t take control of your life, it will spiral out of alignment with your goals and dreams. We are weighed down by outside factors in our life that it can be easy to forget that we have the ultimate control with how we live and what energy we allow into our lives.
Become an elegant woman means eliminating things that no longer serve you. Asking these questions will help you make those eliminations easier.